I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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