I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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