He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
