i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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