it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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