your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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