yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
