i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
