considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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