What did we do last night that was yellow?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
