You work out of a Hotel?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
