eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
