Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
