i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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