Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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