Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
