Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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