u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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