I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
