I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize