Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
