So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
