a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
