they need to just BURY HIM!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
