I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
