I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
