I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
