But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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