Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm too high and old for this...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
