is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
