Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
