All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
