I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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