the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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