so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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