Life is so much better after having sex.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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