I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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