Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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