So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
