it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
