giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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