Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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