My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
