i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
