They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
