I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drake has all the answers
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
