were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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