It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
