Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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