i think my mom watched the whole time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this will be a night to untag.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
