Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
