Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
