Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
