So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
honey bunches of taint.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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