I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
