dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
