Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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