You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
