How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
