I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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