hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
