Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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