oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
