Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
