Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
