It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize